fear of success

This short post is more of a personal post than a health and fitness post...though it is related. It is one of those posts where you need to let your brain unravel in words on a page so you don't unravel in real life.

So you've been warned!

Let's talk briefly about the fear of success.

At what point do we stop pushing against what seems like the "threat" of actual success and instead just let it in? This question is something I'm pummeling myself with at this very moment.

When do we stop resisting the opportunity to grow, thrive and change and just allow it all in?
When do we learn that growing, changing and transforming is not something to be feared but embraced?

The delicate balance of my life is something I protect to no end.  The people in it are mission critical for me. They are a huge piece of my world, so when that world gets "threatened" (there we go again) by the idea of change...little miss me goes into fear of success mode.

And although success is something I want, desire, need, work for and actually experiencing in real time...I find myself pushing against it in small ways.

This pattern is a familiar one for me. When I lived in NYC - I would go through cycles of pursuing my acting career with a passion and drive unparalleled - and then when it would start to really progress...I would derail.

On purpose.

And here I am...a midst a new passion...this passion to guide others so that they may transform themselves, meet their own health and wellness goals and find a strength they never knew existed within them...and i'm SUCCEEDING. I'm actually succeeding in the progression of something I was only dreaming of. I'm putting it out there and people are responding to me...i'm writing articles, i'm an ambassador to several programs across the country, getting certification trainings and i'm keeping myself incredibly focused on the goal of success in these fields. Which will lead to a full time career transition.

And my hard work is showing, paying off and widening the net of possibilities.

And I'm scared to death.
There I said it.

Scared.

But I also know I'm strong. And this struggle is a gift because now, at age 44, I'm ready to look that fear in the face and live a life I dream of and deserve. And although old habits die hard, I'm doing everything I can to avoid the derailment and stop SETTLING for a "job" and finally make a career of something that pulls at my heart strings and fascinates me endlessly.

I mean don't we ALL deserve that?

So that's what's on my mind. My poor, thought filled, idea exploding brain. And I just needed to let it out. Thanks for reading and I promise to have a more productive and interesting post tomorrow.

stay strong, stay healthy,
Rachel