Why I Run

Hello blogosphere. Hope this day is bringin' you some joy. With the holidays approaching it is mission critical to find that joy and make it happen!

Today I feel like blabbing about running, so that's what i'm gonna' do.

I am surrounded primarily by people that do NOT run. I seem to (unintentionally) divide these people into subgroups. There are the "why do you run, a car is much easier, what's the point, i would never want to run" type folks and then there are the "you ran how far? does it hurt? do you get tired? what do you think about? what if you have to pee? i wish i could run like that but i can't" type people.

These are two very different groups. The first group just doesn't get it. And that's ok. REALLY. I don't expect everyone in the world to understand this little obsession of mine. And hell, even I have days, like when I got up at 4:30am to run across a bridge in Newport, where I think "what is wrong with me???" (haha!)

But aside from those periodic moments, mostly I feel frustration when trying to convey running to someone who falls into group one because what I want to say is "its not about getting to a destination, its about the journey - its about what you discover about yourself and sometimes others as result of the time spent running". Which is what life is like, and running is mirror image of being alive and living your life. There are obstacles, struggles, successes and failures. But instead I don't say anything because honestly it isn't my job to defend or convince the naysayers. I have my reasons for running and they are MINE alone.

The second group - the ones that seem to be fascinated by the idea or concept of running (usually distance is what pulls these folks into a conversation) - and can't help but ask me a million questions. I actually love this group of people because I was one of them. Keep in mind I didn't discover running until last year at the age of 42. I did NOT run. Ever. It seemed beyond me. Something I used to say was "I'd like to try running but I can't". Well we all know what happened...I turned my "can't" into "try" and my try into "can" and now it is a simple "do". I guess I like this group of non-runners best because I relate to them and because, like a true crazy runner girl I want to convert people (ha!). And this group CAN be converted. They have that little flicker of light, like I had, and they just needed it fueled into a runner's flame. I don't push anyone to run. I still believe it is something that has to turn on in your brain and make you take the first step. Which I believe is the general way of things with any life change or switch-up.


As a runner, and I still cringe when I write that because it is taking time to understand I really am, in fact a runner - I feel like I'm in this very special club. But it is a club that anybody can join at any given moment. It is a place where I can let all my fear go, I can build my confidence, I can work stress out, I can meditate, I can connect to God, I can be goofy or serious, there are no limits. But most of all, it feels like something we were made to do. If I had to describe to someone what being alive feels like, I would say "running". Only recently have I really started to embrace this. 

When I run, all the things that worry me or stress me seem to fade away. The only thing that matters is making it to the next mile. And in order to do that...I have to listen to my body, which houses who I am at the root of it all. To run, I must listen to my own heartbeat, my footsteps, my breathing...i become aware, almost painfully at first, that I am LIVING in this moment and what an amazing feeling and realization to have. We spend our days wrapped up in things that take our attention away from the essence of who we are and what we need. When I run...it is time to turn my attention to ME and what I need. And what I need and can control is running. And that brings me peace.

Lately I've started running 5 miles before work. It is turning into a magical number for me. It is a mileage number that gives me enough of a challenge that I feel super accomplished afterwards but also enough distance to really give my brain the shut down time it needs. 

Running for me, right now is the thing that keeps me pushing through any doubts that dance through my brain or any inner critic voice that tells me I'm not good enough. Because in running, I automatically know - i'm more than good enough, in fact, I'm pretty badass.

I don't know...i'm rambling here. This may be one of those posts that are just a brain dump. But somehow, I wish I could crystal clear communicate to all those non-runners the magic they will find if they try. It may not be for everyone and that is completely cool and expected. But there is such glory and confidence to be found in start lines and finish lines - that I want to share it with everyone. I want people to feel what I feel...because its pretty awesome to be a runner. 

Slow or fast. It doesn't matter. A mile is a mile is a mile. And maybe its true, only another runner can really "get it". But at some point, most of these runners were NOT runners. Some sort of switch got flicked on and off they went.

And off I went on a wing and a prayer with a couch to 5K app preparing for my first 5k race. And here I am, a year later - half marathon under my belt and looking to register for another one next year.

Running is a gift, I'm grateful I finally opened my eyes, heart and mind to it.