"The Selfie"
WHY?
The more immersed I become in the land of health & fitness, a land that is virtually running rampant with "selfies". Selfies of people doing dead lifts and lunges, photos of various sneaker clad feet doing leg presses...selfies of smiling runners with a sunset in the background (guilty!)...selfies of biceps in bathroom vanity mirrors (guilty)...selfies here, selfies there, selfies EVERYWHERE. Oh and lest we forget, the enviable and much wanted "six pack ab" selfie.
And I suddenly wondered...WHY?
Why are we so consumed with capturing every moment of physical endurance, displays of strength,screenshots of Nike run paces and maps (guilty). Why, I asked myself today, why?
And I came up with this answer...I mean I really examined and questioned my own desire to post silly and mostly unflattering shots of myself sweaty and exhausted after a 5 mile run. Why I LOVE to take pictures of my teeny tiny bicep that I work SO hard to build up in my bathroom vanity mirror.
The reason is this...when I see pictures of myself these days...I don't entirely recognize myself. I KNOW that my body has changed through the lifestyle changes I've made over the past year...but until I can "capture" it in a photo...I don't really see it.
The most recent example of this is Sunday's Color Run. I keep looking at the pics because I don't quite recognize myself. As I've mentioned on this blog before, my story is not one of massive weight loss, so I tend to stay quiet about my small victories in making these changes to my body, but the truth is, for me...these changes ARE a big deal. It is part of my story. Personal to me. A story that I appear to only be able to tell and convince myself of by taking photos of it all.
Now as someone who comes from an acting/film background, I will fully admit YES - I have a fondness for the camera. But when I moved back home to RI, I let some of my NYC self-centered habitual ways go. Truly no place for that, nor tolerable, unless you are in an industry that deems it VITAL to your success. (tells you a little something about that industry and why i left it...).
And I struggled the past month or so trying to figure out if all these selfies and picture book stories on my blog and instagram and facebook accounts were for vanity sake. And I've come up with an honest answer.
100% NO.
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I am working hard to maintain and grow in this healthier lifestyle. And in the midst of that working to one day make my living in an industry (health/fitness/nutrition) that ideally allows you to feel empowered in your own skin, through your own ways. An industry that encourages it and inspires it. I am currently in a place that I can only really connect with these changes, this empowerment by tracking my progress in photos, Nike screenshots, race photos, and YES bathroom bicep pics.
It all seems ridiculous unless you are on a similar path. Some of you will understand and some of you won't. And that's okay. I'm not the type to stop mid bench press and try to take a selfie. That is not my thing. I'm there to WORK not interrupt that flow to take a selfie. But that's ME. However, I am the type to want to record the after glow of it all. Or capture the sunrise at 6:45am when I've gotten my ass out the door for an early morning run. Record the 5 mile run that despite a slow pace is still 5 FREAKING MILES.
I don't always understand other people's selfies...(i'm talking health and fitness related...not the 19 year old girl making a duck face in a Taco Bell bathroom mirror). And I don't always like how some of the "health & fitness" instagram accounts that I follow periodically post pics of a woman that looks more like soft porn (thong shot? really? I don't need to know she's doing her squats and building that ass by seeing it in a THONG). It is ALL a fine line.
I'm proud of what I'm doing. I'm proud of who I am. And who I am becoming. Some day I will look back and be thrilled that I recorded this journey. My journey.
And I guess if you are interested in following my journey...sometimes you are going to have to see my goofy, elated smiling face after crossing another finish line or a shot of my latest work out clothes addiction, even a picture of my abs when I manage to get that little poof of a tummy to go flat, even if for only an hour...this is me. These are the things I want to capture.
Love me. Love my selfies.
stay strong and embrace your selfie journey too!
Rachel
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