It is a post that examines an inner struggle of pursuing what you want/doing what you love but all the while making sure that the people you share this life with aren't alienated by the time you take to improve on yourself. And by "improve on yourself" I mean mind, body and spirit....which for me, addressing the health of my body carries with it a certain level of peacefulness for my mind and spirit.
After accomplishing my half-marathon goal on September 29th, I feel SO motivated to start doing more, testing my limits...maybe try some trail runs or hiking or finally do the Color Run. I actually just registered for the Pell Bridge Run scheduled for November 10th. It requires getting to a fellow runner's house (The Racy Redhead!) at 4:30am on a SUNDAY no less to get to the starting line on time. It is a HUGE challenge as the bridge is about 3-4 miles long and has a HUGE, slow incline...but I really wanted to do it and couldn't pass up the opportunity. So, I went for it. And it felt really good to register...but that nagging, worried voice in my head won't hush up "you are robbing time".
Aside from the signing up for various events...I also still make time to run (a few times a week) and go to the gym (at least twice a week is my rule right now). Add on to that a full time, 40hr a week day job AND the determination to pick back up with my personal trainer certification studies...you end up with one torn up and stressed get-fit-gal.
And it makes me wonder...i'm a woman with NO kids...so I can't even imagine what the time challenge/balance must look like when you have a full-on family to support with your heart, time, finances and efforts.
All I know is I'm starting to feel the push/pull of doing more for myself but all the while trying to balance my time and energy with those I love and adore.
Like I said, this post is more of a mind dump so that this stress doesn't keep running loops in my poor brain. I know what I am meant to do and how I want to live my life...the trick is to keep it in check and in balance with the part of my life I equally love but for very different reasons.
The upside, despite the struggle for balance, is that I know I have inspired others with my passion and commitment to living a healthier life...and that is a GIFT. In fact it is one of the driving factors that keeps me on this path despite my worrisome ways.
All this said, there is no turning back or turning away from my heart's desire, and all I can hope is that this feeling and drive endures through this ongoing struggle for balance.
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