Color Run & Other Stuff on My Brain

So what better way to make sure I'm keeping my love for running races alive? I last minute registered for The Color Run 5K in Providence this Sunday!!!

I was sooooo wrestling with whether to register or not, but after getting the nod from the man that he didn't mind, off I went into registration land. Can not wait! A number of people I know are already registered so it promises to be a super fun time. I get to go shopping tomorrow for some white clothes, funky shades and of course...quite possibly...a tutu!

That's right, I am not above a tutu. Age 43 or not, I can sport a tutu with the best of them.

On to the next topic...this past week...

This past week I've been a little "off" my game. I haven't gotten my ass into the gym once  AND my eating habits have been off as well. Basically, if there is crap food in front of me, I will eat it. Last weekend was a weekend filled with birthday celebrations for the man i love, which included cake, calzones, spinach pies, pizza, ice cream and MORE cake. This trailed into my work week which included not eating enough food (again) and not eating ideal foods as fuel to run this bod. The result is i'm low on energy, feel lethargic and am bloated/gassy beyond belief. (sorry TMI i know, but you read this blog, you know i'm capable of TMI don't ya??? :)

Ugh.

In the moment, it feels like "hey, i work out hard, i run - I earned these treats". But the sad thing is...my body just doesn't enjoy it any more...i'm not even sure WHY i'm eating these things if I know it really doesn't even taste as good as it used to. Its sad to me that we still have some conditioning in ourselves that says "bad food is a good reward". It may be something others have managed to break themselves out of, but I have not. And I'm struggling to figure out how to get out of that mindset. I'm also struggling with the language of "bad" and "good" foods. At one point during the week, I became fed up with the idea of food all together. The battle over what i choose and choose not to eat. The

idea of having to justify the choices, the thought that it is sometimes easier to just go along with whatever is put in front of me. Literally dealing with hostile feelings about it that continue to dance in my brain. It is exhausting.

Keep in mind, I don't always wrestle with this. Some weeks it is very clear and very easy (dare I say) to make the healthy choices. But the brain isn't always on track and that is when temporary derailments hit me like a brick. The good news is these derailments are VERY short lived these days. And for that I am grateful.

I guess I'm just wrestling with some things right now and food is the easiest of those things to identify and address. I guess we all have those "off" days and this week has been several in a row.

Now that I'm focused on the Color Run this Sunday (yay!) I can start to pull myself out of this funk. I'm also playing with the idea of really changing my diet...but not ready to fully commit to that yet. I just feel like I really need an overhaul...

Sigh.

Looks like this post turned into a Deb Downer episode, but I swear it wasn't intended that way! Life is good and I'm grateful...it is just a time of struggle for me and a turning point too. 

Forks in the road always bring stress...but it is something I will work through...I always do. And in the end, I'm usually quite happy with the path I've chosen to travel :)

stay strong & happy Friday,
Rachel


ps I can not wait to give an update on my Color Run experience...and pictures OF COURSE!!!