Kickboxing-Round 2

Excuse me while I use today's post as a way of working out my feelings on the subject of my second kickboxing class last night.

Since I was attending this 2nd session with a bit of hesitation, meaning I nearly weasled out of it, I decided to pay careful attention to what my emotions, thoughts and feelings were during the class. Usually with me if I am having some sort of trepidation or if the negativity committee sets up shop in my head re: engaging in an activity, fear is the culprit almost 90% of the time.

For last night's adventure, we had a different trainer...she's a tiny little thing like me, but super ripped and very powerful and strong. She is also the spokesmodel for the sport locally and she's damn impressive. She's also probably 20 years younger than me, but I have learned you can not use age as an excuse to not be in shape.

She announced at the top of class that "today's focus is on core".

oy. my weakest part of the body.
cue the "fear".

The first ten minutes of drill sessions involved mostly core/crunch exercises...some i did okay...some not so much. What I do like about the class is if you feel like you have to modify a move to complete the reps there is no guilt or "you suck, try harder" mentality in that place...you can truly just keep up in your own best way - the general rule is just "don't stop or sit down" and that's a rule I'm 100% on board with.

Once we got through that, it was onto the punch/kick part of the class, but even there, this dynamo that was leading the class had us still doing some core-focused moves. During this part of the class I can share I truly love, LOVE the punching part...its enough to make me want to keep attending just for that reason alone. The kicking part...well...

I don't like to kick. I thought I would. But I don't.
And the reason?

I'm a runner.

Yes...I am SURE there are plenty, PLENTY of people that run and kickbox but running is at the heart of my newly arrived inner athlete, to endanger that passion and joy is too risky. I am also struggling with form and pretty sure I'm throwing my hip either too far back, too far forward, or perhaps not at all.

Hard to tell when you are panting for air and dropping to do mountain climbers in between each set.

I do know that by the time I'm half way through the class I am loving that I am IN the class. I am loving that I've moved outside my comfort zone and tried something I always wanted to. Its empowering to take control like that. VERY empowering. Its one of the very valuable lessons of this new, fit lifestyle I live. Owning your body and making it what you want - even if that means you have to be uncomfortable to do it.

What I can't tell yet is do I love what I am doing in the class or am i just loving the idea that i'm badass enough to get through a kickboxing class?

I truly can't tell yet. I do know that fear has a lot to do with why i'm coming up with reasons not to attend past my four groupon classes. It is making me realize that its all about the right fit, and I give myself credit for sticking with it - even when I'm not sure its right for me.

And the other thing is...I fear I will be dissappointed in myself if I decide its a "no". I love the "idea" of kickboxing...but if I'm not having fun doing it...it may not be the thing that works as my cross fit activity. When I am running, even when its hard, I'm having fun testing my limits, trying to adjust and change to make it work. When I'm lifting my weights and pushing through my routines...even when I feel weak, its fun to push myself to complete the reps...but when I'm kickboxing, it isn't really "fun"...its intense, its HARD and it is very, very uncomfortable...but the feeling that follows IS fun. How fun that I just kicked my own ass through that class...

...so I guess what I'm saying is...I have NO idea whether its for me yet.

HA!

This post has not only failed in helping me figure out how I feel, but its probably bored you all too tears! eek! Sorry...but sometimes my good ole bloggin' is still for myself :)

On a different note...I finally saw my pictures from the Girls on the Run 10K! Hysterical. I either look like I'm dying out there or at the finish line I apparently broke into a dance of some sort and have no recollection...luckily the camera people took LOTS of photos of that. I purchased two of the shots because I am just so damn in love with running that I want images to help me remember each and every race. Brace yourself for the goofiness!