This morning before work I decided to get another run in because this weekend will not allow for the freedom I need to do a long run so I planned a few short ones this week to keep me fresh (though I am doing a 5K race tomorrow with a very excited 12 year old - its her first!). I figured that my morning run would not be as strong as Tuesday's because I literally rolled out of bed, rolled into my running clothes and ran out the door - no food in the belly and barely a few sips of water.
The intention was 2 miles, which turned into 3 because I couldn't bare to keep running circles around my block. Instead I ran a similar route to Tuesday's run, which is a 3 mile distance. My first mile clocked in at just under 10 minutes. Shocking because I had some discomfort (minimal) in my left leg and slowed down (what I thought was considerably) to allow for that discomfort to pass.
At the two mile mark I turned around and started the run back home. By the time I hit the main street I had already hit 3 miles (way earlier than my normal 3 mile marker). I had beat Tuesday's PRs...My 5K came in at 27:41 (unheard of!!!). My fastest mile came in at...brace yourself...7:18. My "slowest" was 10:04. My "slow" use to be my fast up until a week ago. I seriously considered that maybe my Nike+ app is not working properly. But even just noting my start time and end time on a normal watch...it works out. I did a 3.1 mile run in 27:41...I am stunned that I beat Tuesday.
And I can't help but keep doubting myself and pulling it all apart. I run random questions through my mind:
"is the Nike+ app broke?"
"how am i doing this?"
"is it because i'm eating way more carbs???"
"is it because of my core strengthening challenge moves that i've perfected over the past month?"
"has a faster runner invaded my body?????"
"is this how it happens for other runners too? does all of a sudden your body just hit a new level???"
It is an endless stream of questions at any given moment crossing through my mind. And the truth is, I think trying to analyze it to this degree will kill it. I could already feel myself breaking under pressure when I first got out the door this morning - worrying I would be way slower than tuesday...and my body tensed (hence the discomfort). But then as soon as I moved off my block onto my normal route it all kicked in again and I stopped thinking and just ran.
I dare to think that the reason does in fact have to do with the cross training AND the eating more. But I also think its because I sort of gave up trying to keep up. I am a runner - and I know that now. I don't do well under pressure and the pressure to PROVE i'm a runner was killing my runs. killing the fun of it. Run these many miles this month, run this distance today, hurry up and get faster...it was too much for me. Instead...I love to run. If I am hurting...I will not run as much or as far as planned until the pain is gone. If I am in training for...let's say...my half marathon in September, yes, I WILL need to stick to a plan but you know what...if I have to walk a little bit through that half marathon, so be it. I won't turn something I love and do willingly into something that I am pressuring myself to do. I feel very confident I will be able to train effectively for my half marathon...but I must keep FUN in the picture.
And if I get to keep feeling and being this strong throughout the process, I know I will be okay. And if not, I'll still be okay...just slower :)
I love running...and lately, its really loving me back too.
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