busy doing, not blogging

I seem to have this guilt complex about not actively updating my blog as much as I would like. It actually nags at me...and its not like you are all out there with breathless anticipation of my next post (though that would be lovely!) - but I still feel guilt.

I guess the truth of the matter is, I'm working out, running, busy gearing up for the summer - and life tends to be easier to live these days than to reflect on & write about. Last week the mister was away for 7 straight days and I spent much of that time working out, running, eating super healthy & yummy things - had lots of me time. And it was great (although of course i missed him!). I learned last week that I have a REAL desire to live each day focused on wellness. Which leads me to another area of guilt...I have NOT been studying nearly as much as I should for my PT certification. To sit down with the book takes real discipline and I need to kick my self in the ass and get back on the books and notetaking. To make my dream a reality I have to do the work. And although I am now easily adopting this into my life in terms of working out and running...the studying & learning part is weak. So...there's an area for me to address and become accountable for. That said, this means I will prob start writing a bit more about what I'm learning as a way of tracking and being held accountable for my studies. It sounds so juvenile but i was never a great student even when I was younger, even when I loved the topic...I like to talk and do, not sit and read. Looks like that hasn't changed!

As far as the running, as of yesterday I started my official half-marathon training (click here for the plan I decided on - there were SO many to review and decide on) Yay! I started about a month early (its a 12 week program and my half is end of September)...but I need the discipline of a schedule. I also have a 10k coming up June 1st and although I've done one virtual one, I am working to get my mileage back up in time.

All in all, I'm feeling very at peace with many aspects of my life. I know what needs to be done...I know the way forward, and I'm working at making time for it. Which sometimes means less blog posts for you my friendly followers :)

One thing more I can update you on my most recent 5k! I ran the National Grid/Cox Communciations 5K in Providence this past Saturday. It was no PR by any means --it was challenging to say the least (many, many HILLS. Right from the start!). I am proud to have come in at 183 out of approx 380 people. My final time was 32:59. One ODD thing is that my bib number was 183, and I came in 183?!?! Bizarre!

I think my favorite part of this race was at the end (not for the reason you think!). After I crossed the finish line I grabbed my water and a banana and sat on the curb cheering the remaining runners on just as they saw the finish line in eye-sight. I literally got choked up --my eyes all teary, I realized in that moment, that for me anyway, races aren't about beating people, its just about being with other runners. Its about watching people of all types, all ages, all levels of fitness crossing that line and cheering them, encouraging them. I like to do this especially for those that seem to be there on their own (like me). Sometimes its hard not having anyone at the finish line to cheer for you, but its something I am adjusting to. And it drove me to want to go cheer others...and that balances it all out.

I feel very lucky to be a runner. I may not always be fast. I may not always be good. Sometimes my runs are downright ugly...but they are mine. And I am me. And i'm grateful for discovering the gift that is running. I'm also grateful for discovering how much I LOVE to work out and get stronger. I have visible biceps now (i am laughing) - they are small, and not "cut" but they are there. And they are mine.

And I am proud :)

stay strong,

rachel