medical non sense and weekend goals

'ello blog-a-rific readers...so sorry i have been off the radar blog wise. I had to prep for two procedures for the end of this week (today) that involved a 24 hour fast and (tmi warning) - pooping my brains out. I have been having digestive issues on and off since December of 2012. I finally bit the bullet and went to see a gastro specialist who, much to my horror, strongly recommended an endoscopy AND a colonoscopy. In the same day. My thought was - what are they going to do? Meet in the middle. For most people, that have had these before or atleast even had their tonsils out...it shouldn't be a big deal. But for me, I was petrified. I have not had as much as stitches since I was 4 years old, and my mom, God rest her soul, passed out by the water cooler when they rushed me into the emergency room! Looks like I inherited, the I hate hospitals, drugs, doctors, procedures thing from my mom.

Anyway, long and short of it. Yesterday was hell, forced to drink more miralax than any human should have to, paired with no eating and its truly a day of feeling like hell. I suspected (and had heard) that I would start to feel crappy the end of the day so I got out there early yesterday and did a 4.5 mile run. The kneed acted up so I cut it shorter than what I had hoped (though 4 miles was the goal but normally I always push a little further). Today, besides being up all night...in the powder room...I was scared and in tears on my way to the procedure. My boyfriend, who has lived through some really awful surgeries and hospital stays just couldn't quite comfort me the way I needed it. In a moment like that...a girl really needs her mom...and alas, that is no longer an option for me.

Cue MORE tears after that realization crashed into my heart.

The good news? It went very smoothly and the drugs they give you to knock you out are no joke. I had no idea they had even started...it was bizarre. I closed my eyes, opened my eyes and I was done. Turns out I have a small hiatal hernia and they had to biopsy some tissue from the endoscopy - more related to the acid reflux damage and the hernia. Everything else was fine with the colon...again sorry for the details but I'm going somewhere with this.

I thought for sure, I would want to eat Taco Bell, a chocolate cake and anything else I could throw in my mouth as soon as I was allowed to eat. I thought that because I was going to be "starving" I wouldn't care what I put in my body. Turns out...not only was I not starving, but all I could think about was how I couldn't wait to fill my bod with clean, healthy foods. As a result of the "cleanse" shall we say, my stomach went extremely flat...it was then that I realized that much of the "pooch" of my lower belly is directly related to the way I digest food and the food that I am actually consuming. It was a bizarre, new level of awareness. In an odd way, though I would prefer to NOT have to do this again anytime soon (actually don't need it for another 10 years!) - it certainly helped me view food in a completely different or atleast new and improved light.

Its a realization I did not expect. More and more I want to learn about fueling this body correctly...and my course work for my personal trainer cert plays into the desire. Which, by the way, I plan on tackling some coursework this weekend (or even later today...see how I feel - those meds are lingering from earlier today!). I also got the okay from my doctor to run this weekend, not today as I need total rest, but tomorrow I am planning a short run in the morning and looonnnggg easy and slow run on Sunday!

So...sorry if I shared TOO much in this blog, but hey - I'm over 40 and these are the kinds of things you start to experience as your body tries to force you into slow decline but your mind and spirit keeps fighting to grow healthier and stronger.

stay strong,
Rachel