Ok, that's not a very happy way to start off a blog post. And yes, if I were you, I'd probably rethink reading this particular post if that's the negative nelly tone I'm setting!
I normally keep most of my posts related to fitness, running, working out, inspiration...etc etc etc. Once in a while, I have to pepper this blog with my "real life" woes of the world. Today's real life woe? WORK. Ugh. Today has NOT been a good work day. After everything I went through mentally and physically after those procedures Friday, I totally spaced out and missed a meeting this morning. The funny part (well not really) is that all I do is take minutes in these particular meetings. That is all. Nothing else. And of course all hell broke loose because I missed the damn meeting. All because there was no one to take minutes.
Ugh.
Seriously???
And it is these moments that make me want to go home and just crawl into bed. Say a big giant "f*ck it" to exercising or eating a healthy dinner. These are the days that real life impacts my spirit. That it drags me down and kicks me hard, right in my hiatal hernia (see that...i made a joke?!). Anyway, I do believe stress is playing a part in my pain and discomfort and no doubt it is coming from work. And although I have made an ACTIVE choice to pursue my personal trainer certification, its going to be 6 months until I can test (and will take that long for me to learn everything inside and out) - and during these next 6 months I must learn to keep my eye on the prize. I must not let negativity invade my spirit and pull me down by the ankles.
Its not easy.
But life is filled with challenges and its my job to rise above and prove that I am worth SO much more than value being assigned to me by others. Its about understanding your own value and standing firm. After my little health scare I recognize that stress is really wreaking havoc on my body and the best remedy for that is to change your environment, and if you can't do that (not yet anyway) - then work it out in other ways. Leave the negativity in the 4 walls at work and go live your life the way you want and need outside those 4 walls.
When I go home, I am working out. Despite my mind telling me to just go collapse in bed. Despite my acid reflux rearing up due to work related stress. Despite the voices of negativity that tell me "what's the point, just give up".
I can't. And I won't.
Which leads me to this little segway...yesterday I ran 7 MILES. 7 MILES. The same voice that tells me to give up is the same voice that told me I'd never get past 6 miles. The 5 before that. And 4 before that. But I keep proving the naysayers wrong. I keep hushing up my inner critic that loves to tear me apart. It loves to shout things in my head as I run "slow poke! just stop! what are you trying to prove? who do you think you are? you must look dumb..." and so on and so on.
And I know i'm not the only one that wrestles with inner monologue of negativity. But you MUST push past it. You must shut it up. Therefore, when I go home and just want to curl up in a ball...I will overrule that mind set and get my butt moving to my workout regimine. I am worth a 30 minute work out. I am worth an hour long study session. I am worth a 7 mile run. My value is defined by me and I would like to believe my abilities, my heart and my passion are quite priceless.
So the next time you have a bad day or feel like giving up...remember, you are NOT the only one struggling. We all have our battles to wage and win. And you will over come if you realize you are worth it. Because you ARE!
stay STRONG,
Rachel
Well said beautiful...thanks so much for sharing that, it made my day! Blessings! We all have that voice inside our heads that tells us we are not good enough, skinny enough...it is our job to shut that voice up and prove it wrong!
ReplyDeleteShannon at I Survived and Now I Run
thanks so much for your comment! It is so helpful to know these are things that others struggle with as well. Its all about shushing the critic committee that lives in our heads and listen to our hearts!
Delete