August and I haven't written a word on this blog since June 26th.
Sad I know.
Why's that? Well I won't make a list of excuses. But I'll make a list of what I've been busy doing, which ends up leaving me little time to actually write anything on this much neglected but much needed blog. I had a bunch of followers, loyal ones, who I am SURE by now have long since deserted me. And I can't blame them. I almost completely abandoned this shipwreck of a blog myself, until I realized I STILL need to sometimes let the world out there know what's happening in my Body Made Better world. So here's what has been going on since late June.
I have been:
- strength training 3-4 times a week
- cycling 1-2 times a month (10-12 mile bike rides, which i suck at, but trying!)
- running (start training for THIRD half marathon which is Nov 2!)
- launching my personal training business (launched Body Made Better Fitness!)
- launching my running coach services (first client signed on this week!)
- getting ready to put together a "virtual trainer" program (oy! workin' on it!)
- continue to be a monthly contributor to RI Fit Magazine (every month i'm writin'!)
That about covers it. In addition, I'm working my full time 40 hour work week as an Office Manager for a manufacturing company. Yep. Can you say "running yourself ragged"? But here's the thing.
It is TRUE. If I want the dream to become reality I have to work for it. I have to MAKE it happen. I have to hit the sheets at night exhausted. I have to have those moments where I think "why can't i be happy with status quo?". And I do NOT mean that in a demeaning way to those that are content without driving themselves into the ground for a passionate drive to accomplish some specific goal. We are all wired differently. For me, I have always had a passion...a red hot firey PASSION to do more than sit at a desk from 9-5. build up a 401k and then retire in my 60s. The downside is that I am not financially secure, the chances of being able to retire 20 years from now are minimal and I live a little on the edge of financial oblivion because i'm always looking to make a leap to something I think is worth the risk. And I'm okay with that. Because the way I'M wired means that I don't need to "retire" in my 60s because I'll still love what I do and not want or need to stop.
And here's another difference I'm experiencing. Something I'm compelled to get down in words 'cause it has been drifting around in my brain. As I said, I've always been fueled by passion...to do something outside a seemingly ordinary existence. In my late 20s I moved to NYC...I acted into my late 30s. I maintained a day job but in every other waking hour I was writing plays/screenplays, producing plays/films, acting for the stage...sometimes getting paid, sometimes not. I didn't care. I NEEDED to do it. I was taking lessons in "the method" and studied with the incredible Flo Young who granted me access to the very private Actor's Studio where my idol and legend Marilyn Monroe observed. My dreams a reality within the first year I moved to NYC. I KNOW how to make things happen if I WORK for it. And as much as that high rocked my world, as much as nothing ever compared to coming off that stage and people wanting to meet me and say they were "moved" by the performance...bla bla bla. I used to love the very self indulgent process of diving into my own life experiences and transforming it into the experience of the character i brought to life...bla bla bla. Now, please, i'm not trashing acting...in fact i still miss it...it is a part of me that will never completely wilt away...but something was always missing. And yes, when you are VERY good at your craft, and touch millions of people with your talent (like the recently deceased and shocking passing of the brilliant Robin Williams) you do in fact touch and change lives. But to have that wide scope of ability is a rare gift. To be able to touch that many people. For me...I always had that voice in my head that felt like I was only doing it for ME. I liked the process of working on myself and my character. I loved the whole process of bonding with other actors. It filled a nitch I never got to feel before. Filled a void. And when I finally made the move back to RI and gave it up, I didn't miss it. Which was startling to me. I was busy building a new life. And I did, after the passing of my mom, take an acting class downtown, just to see how it felt, and in the first week the teacher asked me what i was doing there. I was too advanced...i belonged back in NYC. I laughed with embarrassment. Confirmation received. I finished the class and never looked back. That chapter on acting...finally closed.
But I still knew I had something to give. And I wanted to give something that would directly help other people. I didn't need to fill a void. I wanted to help other people fill their void but with something that empowered them, made them strong, confident, brave.
And then fitness happened. And here I am. Two years later. Doing this. BUILDING a new career/world/life. And it is HARD. Good God this is HARD WORK. And I've heard this before...and pardon the french BUT...
And that sh*t is TRUE. And it explains why this blog has been devoid of any activity all summer because i've been workin' this booty off making my dreams a reality. I also landed, by the grace of God and the generous show of faith by two fantastic co-owners the use of a studio in Johnston called Total Body Affinity. They have a gorgeous spa space AND an amazing small, but fully equipped private fitness studio. They have allowed me to rent the space by the hour while I work on growing my business. It is an amazing opportunity but I'm so very grateful and working hard to grow, grow, grow so I can bring more clients through their well deserved doors.
I'm on the precipice. You know? That moment when you are standing there, and you know that soon, it will be time to jump. And you will either fly or fall. And as I write that, tears well, because I know my mother would always catch me either way. And she isn't here any more to say that. To say "i'll catch you Ray". But wherever she is...i know she'll be there in her way, and i have to believe she's busy making me wings of the finest feathers and whispering..."you CAN fly".
thanks for reading folks and promise to try and inject this blog with a little more life...it may be more a venting session for a while as I try to gain control of the hectic schedule and the massive brainstorms exploding in my brain by the minute on how to progress Body Made Better Fitness.
One last thing - a HUGE thank you to all my friends that have taken the plunge and hired me to train them in these early stages - Marla, Patty, Sabrina, Shannon - and a thank you to my friend Hugh - a marketing genius who is willing to offer his talents generously to help me launch this baby the right way, a BIG thank you to RI Fit Magazine for always wanting my contributions each month as a health and fitness contributor - you allow me to keep my love of writing alive and well! To my mentor Holly Perkins...what pure inspiration this woman has been in how I conduct myself as a professional. I would not have found my way into this world if it wasn't for her. And finally to my main man, my partner in crime...who to date since April has worked HARD to lose over 50 lbs the old fashioned way - through healthy, clean eating and exercise - and he's still going - I thank him for putting up with my crazy schedule (that is about to get crazier). For quietly supporting me, for never deterring me from this dream and for finding his own way to a healthier life. He keeps ME inspired and motivated to keep pushing forward.
I'm sure I've missed others but this crazy brain is trying its best :)
So there's my post folks. Sorry if it isn't filled with helpful tips and resources...but its a kickstart if nothing else and put a little life back in this baby!
stay strong,
Rachel
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