Recap! Jillian, Opportunities & Lightbulbs

Hello my long lost get fitters and blog-o-riffic followers!

So incredibly sorry for the delay in this post. Life has been movin' pretty dang fast and I'm doin' my best to keep up. Question now is where to begin???

Okay, let's start with THIS!

I attended Jillian Michaels "Maximize Your Life" tour on Tuesday night here in Providence. Now, I had always liked Jillian Michaels, even if her style of fitness "coaching" (ie yelling) doesn't quite work for me, I still respect and admire her. Well...let me tell ya! After seeing her live...she is 100% real. No punches pulled...she is who she is and un-apologetically. And the even more beautiful part of it...? In her show she encourages EVERYONE to be unapologetic for who they are. To not curb your pride in your accomplishments, to rise up and rebel against "the rules" of how we should act, how we should live our lives at the service of every other person except ourselves (she was sure to explain she didn't mean the law). Her message was so much more than just a lecture on exercise and nutrition...in fact those were the sections of the show that were the shortest. The last segment addressed the obstacles we are facing, the things that get in the way of our success at what are essentially simple things - like eating healthy and movin' our butts off the couch of life. It was all very inspirational. I plan to provide a more detailed review of the show in the next print edition of RI Fit Mag! Have I mentioned how much I love being a regular contributor???

The one thing she said that I will specifically share...that in fact moved me to tears and gave me that "ah ha" moment. She spoke of one of the former Biggest Loser contestants from a previous season. I don't recall her name, but she was a contestant who had lost her husband and children in a terrible accident. The wonder of this woman is that in the face of something that so many people would be destroyed by, she found strength to turn a devastating negative into a positive message, a way to honor the loss with her life and message of hope. When Jillian shared that...it hit HARD. If you've followed me for any length of time or know my story...my mother Paula was my WORLD. Truly my best friend and the person that knew me better than I knew myself. She was a force of nature that

My gorgeous, amazing mom. Miss her every day.

I wanted to emulate in every way and then some. After losing her to cancer in 2010, and after witnessing the horrifying decay that came with it...I was paralyzed with sadness and mourning. I lost weight not because I needed to, but because I just could not find the will to eat. I was in pain and suffering so severely at the loss that I wasn't sure how I could go on without the only person I trusted in the entire world. Then in the summer of 2012, as my story goes, something in me switched on. Something in me started to remember the words she spoke to me at the end of her time. The strongest message that resonated (and still does) was that "the outside doesn't matter, nothing in this world matters if you are sick on the inside, if you don't have your health, you have nothing". When she said it, I really didn't listen the way I should have. But some part of me DID process it. Some part of me rose up in the face of my grief two years later and decided to HONOR her message. Essentially, as the fitspo quotes say (which normally I challenge) "take care of your body, it is the only place you have to live". That was my mother's message as she lay in the hospital bed. She had her demons and in the end, she fully well had to face them...the cancer was from years of heavy smoking, the pain she felt she would mask and her fear to confront it far earlier than she did were all the things that she, in reflecting back, knew brought her to that horrible bed in that horrible hospital. And her worrying over getting older, aging, losing her beauty (she was GORGEOUS and I'm certain would always have been) - these were things that consumed her..."the outside" as she referenced no longer mattered if the "inside" was not healthy. In the end, that is all we have.

And as Jillian proceeded with her story on the stage, all the above thoughts I just wrote out scrolled through my brain like ticker tape. My mother's death needed to be turned into something positive that could be brought to the world. Her death will not be in vein. I feel empowered, strong, smart, confident and beautiful from the INSIDE OUT. Just as it should be. Just as she believed it ought to be. Even if that thought came too late.

I'm sorry to go on...but it hit so hard that I guess I needed to write it all out. All in all, it was not a realization I would have expected from a Jillian Michaels lecture. But, surprise surprise...

What else? (aside from my long ramble above!).

Well I have been LOVING my new gym Anytime Fitness. Seriously just miles and MILES above Planet Fitness. The membership is far more a month ($39.99) but worth every single penny. AND, without divulging too much...I have an incredible opportunity before me if I can just believe in myself enough to take the step forward and pursue it. A dear friend of mine has also had to "jump" and hope "the net will appear". My case is slightly different, the net is right stinkin' in front of me, and I just have to trust MYSELF that I am capable and smart enough to do what others see shining brightly in me. Self doubt is a real bugger I tell ya - and so is fear. But as the merch tshirt reads that I bought at Jillian's show "Feel the fear & do it anyway!".

Lastly, I really have been amping up my workouts and yesterday actually had TWO sessions at the gym. One in the morning, one in the evening. I've been running on the treadmill since Spring hadn't officially kicked off weather wise and decided with my second half marathon only 5 weeks away now...I NEED to run a few times every week leading up...even if it is the dreaded treadmill. Tomorrow morning I have a date with the open road though for a long run...and looking forward. Slow and steady but I'll getter' done!

Oh wait...one more last, LAST thing. Train Dirty Fitness Bootcamp certification happens in less than a month in NYC. Train ticket and hotel are booked! So freakin' excited to get certified and start kicking other people's booties besides my own! In a good way OF COURSE.

stay strong all,
Rachel