mish mash post-a-bonanza update post!

Hello blog-o-sphere.

Well, I am not sure where to begin with these update so let's start here.

I'm sick.

Ugh!

Yup...have been hit hard with my first sinus infection of the year. And it is a doozy. I am BEYOND frustrated. Really felt like I was getting my running/workout mojo back and then THIS. Big, freaking, huge SIGH. And I know, I've been fighting feeling crappy on and off for weeks. Thought for sure I would overcome it...but no such luck. This lack of consistency with gym and running is doing a number on my psyche. I'm feeling like a big giant failure.

Advice to myself right now!

And to be completely honest, I think I might be a little depressed...all this brutal winter weather/snow has me down. I desperately want and NEED to be running outside, not slow walk/jogging 2 miles because of crazy ice covered roads. And yes, I could go to the gym, but in the winter, everyone is sneezing and breathing all over each other. It is like an incubator for every germ known to man. I'm TIRED. And I'm PALE. I look like a ghost. Even paler. I look like a ghost's ghost. This is the first time I've ever considered doing the tanning bed at Planet Fitness. Something I've sworn I would NEVER do...but I can not stand how I look or feel right now. And yeah, I'm complainin' and whinin' and for that I'm sorry. But hey, at least you all get to see how human I am right? :) I guess overall, right now, the being sick on and off for a couple weeks (that I quietly fought my way through) with the result ending in a major sinus infection just has me reeling.

Also, let's talk about the vegetarian thing, shall we?

First off, all my findings and my experiences remain TRUE. And I have loved the experience. But late last week I started to have a slow change in heart. Maybe it was because I was getting increasingly sicker - but on Saturday night of last weekend...I had a dream...

I was eating chicken.

TRUE STORY.

I literally was eating chicken in my dream. When I woke up, I thought to myself, my body is trying to talk to me. It wasn't like I had dreamed of a giant steak, just a simple salad with grilled chicken. That was the dream.

Ridiculous. But true. And I really do believe my body functions better with at least chicken back in my diet. NO other meats (aside from fish) will return, but a nice grilled chicken is on the menu again. Something I have A LOT of guilt admitting after singing the praises of going vegetarian, and again, I DO believe there is incredible value in going veggie/fruit lovin' only...but for me, I have had an opportunity to learn what my body needs to function at its best...so chicken, welcome back.

Also, I will admit, going vegetarian I GAINED weight. Yup. I wasn't sure because of all the "lady bloating" issues I was experiencing the last two weeks of January, but I did gain weight. Not much, but enough. And I always wondered "how does a vegetarian gain weight???". I'll tell ya how...by settling for pasta every time you go to a restaurant that has nearly no other vegetarian choices and because you have had salad up the wazoo. It happens because when you make a portobello mushroom burger you put it on whole grain bread to bulk it up...but when I ate meat-made burgers, I would never eat the bun. I added A LOT of grains/pasta/potato back into my diet to compensate for no meat. 

Ridiculous again I say. 

I did not have to do that...but if you are going to be a successful vegetarian you can NOT be lazy. You have to make the smartest, wisest choices. The few weeks I was kicking ass. Last week, not so much. Started to feel run down, my body looked "smushy" from all the carbs - and I felt unhappy and disappointed because I had sang the praises so loudly and here I was realizing I had failed because I didn't keep up with it the way I should have. All this said, I will be doing a meat detox every few months. I believe many of the "highs" I experienced the first couple weeks were part of the detox process, my body doing away with any meats or by-products related to meat consumption. I still feel "clear" in my mind (aside from sinusitis hell) and still have a clear picture of my journey ahead...but I need to fuel myself consistently to keep the energy up. In short...I believe it is finally time I broke down and went to go see a nutritionist. This body requires a very unique mix of foods to keep it going and I'm still struggling to understand it all.

I am very, VERY happy I went vegetarian for January...it was a wonderful, eye opening experience. But, my body needs to find its middle ground again and that involves a partial return to what i know.

In general, despite all the positive things going on, I'm feeling down and I KNOW it is because i've been battling the onslaught of sickness that finally has me down for the count. The man and I leave for sunny Las Vegas and California two weeks from today and I

want to feel GOOD. I want to feel energized and strong and healthy...running and strength training do that for me...and somehow, someway, I must make that happen despite the germs infiltrating my poor little system. I plan on lots of fluids, stocking up on Vitamin C and doing some light stretches and at home workout sessions to ease me back in the consistency I miss so very much!

Soooo I'm sorry...this appears to have been a big long rant of sorts...but sometimes my blog is really just a physical manifestation of all the thoughts running through this brain. By getting them out on the page, I can move forward and get out of my own way.

Thanks for listening...er...reading!
Happy Friday!

Rachel