I want to talk about and address the false belief that just because a person is "skinny" or "thin" (and in some cases, like today's experience at the gym...younger) does not necessarily make them healthier or STRONGER than a person who is heavier than said "skinny" or "thin" person or stronger than a person who is considerably older than them.
Yes, in this discussion we are using me as the "skinny" (and younger) person. And may I just say how much I HATE the word "skinny". I hate it equally to the word "fat". Both are inaccurate terms that can have hurtful connotations to them. Yes, I know there are friends and folks out there that have worked hard to lose weight and have total moments of glee when someone calls them "skinny". I will concede in those situations because as someone that has not had to struggle hard with weight gain/loss I have no right to try to take those gleeful exchanges away from anyone, nor to judge it. For those folks I say "rock on with your bad self!!!" :)
But in other circumstances...eh...not so much feeling it. First off...if you have weight to lose, if you are on that journey...you are NOT fat. You have excess fat that you want to lose (and never find again i'm sure!). YOU are NOT fat. It is something you have. I have fat too. Yes me, 100 pounds soaking wet. I have FAT. Its the midsection that refuses to stay away...fat loves to store up over there and torture me by periodically popping up on any given day depending upon how good i've been with not consuming slices of toffee crunch cake from our local Gregg's restaurant.
MMMMMM...cake.
What was I saying?
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| My body has been SO sore this week! Yay! |
Oh yeah...so before I continue on with a pointless rant and get distracted by cake let me tell you where this is coming from. I have been working with a trainer, it kicked off this week, and he is kicking my ass. No, he's kicking it and then handing it to me. And yes, it feels awesome to take control and finally focus on building muscle in a more specific way. It also is helping to cement much of my NASM learning materials and info through practice and observing what he's doing as a trainer. So yes, all in all, I'm happy. But here's the thing...
In my very first session which was shoulders, I walk in there at 8:30 and there is this little gaggle of folks that train together. I am now part of that rotating group. Well, the majority of the folks in this group are probably 50 and over. And the majority of them, at first glance, you would "judge" are not in great shape.
That too is going to become a buzz phrase that gets under my skin - "in shape". But I digress...
I'm given as my second exercise a shoulder move holding a 10 pound plate, I hold it out straight in front of me and twist it back and forth as if turning a steering wheel. 1 minute in my arms are shaking and I'm just dying from the pain (ok i'm being dramatic)...well I go to do the second "set" of this sucker and the woman next to me...who is, yes, older, and yes heavier than me says "Gee that seemed awfully easy to me, your really struggling".
Ummmm...crap. Yup. There it was...the ah ha moment that I actually WANT people to have...that just because I'm younger, because I'm "thinner" doesn't mean i'm stronger. I could tell she had this boost of confidence as a result. I turned to her and said "I am proof then, you are stronger than you think because this is tough for me!". I laughed and smiled...
But inside I was all..."oh shit - I'm really going to learn how weak I am before I get stronger". And that's okay, but the realization stung a little. I walk in there thinking my 5 and 6 mile runs and periodic home workouts put me in "great shape".
Well guess what, yes I'm in better shape than I was and yes, I'm in pretty darn good shape now. But, my physical appearance, actually NO ONE'S physical appearance is an accurate reflection of their strength. And that experience I had that day continued on today.
Today was abs day with the trainer. I KNEW it would be a tough one for me because I have a bizarrely weak core. I mean really bad, which I suspect is why as a runner I encounter injuries. Well sure enough, I'm with that little group of folks, not all but most of them and so it begins.
This one woman, well into her late 50's, has recently lost quite a bit of weight and is working on tightening everything up I suspect. Well, I get on one of the ab machines and I'm struggling, badly. We rotate when the time is up and she gets on there and is just swinging those legs up and workin' it. I mean WORKIN' IT and I'm in awe.
And so is the group...but in reverse. Because they are all looking at me and based on assumptions that society drills into women's heads (thinner is better, thinner is healthier) they are in shock that this Mildred woman (not her name, makin' that up)...but anyway, that Mildred is KICKING this little blonde's ass.
At this point I'm sure my trainer is thinking, wow we got lots of work to do with this one.
Meaning me.
And he's right.
Its very difficult to walk into a situation where everyone around you is seemingly stronger than you are and on top of that, they are mutually shocked you aren't stronger than you are.
And this leads me to why I'm there in the first place.
Also, I'm sure much of what I'm saying here is my own perception. Purely my own inner monologue going on and my own insecurity. But the point here is that if this experience for these women helped them realize they are stronger than they think, and that thinner is not better, than I'm happier for it.
In the end, we are all there together, working to make ourselves healthier, happier, better...when I finally start my personal trainer business I want to reinforce how much strength truly lives inside each of us. I want it to be my job to instill in women, specifically, they have the power in them to change and transform and become stronger.
Make no mistake, I'm very proud of taking this plunge for myself and proud of my work to date...but this observation was too much not to share. I'm happy that I'm feeling what I'm feeling right now because it helps me understand a bit more what its like to walk into a situation feeling not up to par, but then learning you only have to be better than you were the day before.
The competition is with yourself, no one else.
And that's a competition I can get behind 100%.
stay strong,
Rachel
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