challenges & your inner critic

Feels like forever since I blogged...been busy actually "doing" so sometimes its hard to find the time to actually sit down and write about all the "doing" i'm "doing".

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Anyway! So in addition to doing Holly Perkins 30 Lunge Challenge (shout out to my comrades in this challenge Dawn & Larna, you got this!)...I've decided to challenge myself to put in 30 RUNNING miles before I leave for my 9 day vacation/cruise at the end of November (shout out to Cyn for planting the bug in my head!). Oh yeah, I'm going for it...but all the while I will be paying very close attention as to not push so hard that I injure myself again. I figure between my 3 times a week runs in the neighborhood, combined with my one mile treadmill runs when i got to the gym...i should be able to average 8-10 miles a week...and I won't know unless i try, right?

Next up...I want to talk about "comparisons" in light of a self reflecting/conflicting moment I had today. 

I've talked a very good game about being the best version of yourself. Trying to not compare yourself to others, but instead compete against your personal best. Test your own limits for yourself, not to compare yourself against someone else who may be at a different/more advanced point in their fitness journey. I talk this game with much truth...because i truly DO believe it. I don't post all those fitspiration quotes for my health (well, wait, i kind of indirectly do!)...my point is - we are all human. Today while at the gym, I saw a woman who had to be in my same age range and her body was so STRONG...she had worked up such a sweat on one of the stairmasters or treadmills or whatever that she was literally soaked with sweat. 

Ok, i know this sounds gross.

But I swear to you, all I could see was how strong she must be to be able to work herself that hard and still be standing. She wasn't crazy muscular but she was clearly cut...she had this look of complete satisfaction on her face. I had the same look on my face until I met her at the wipe down/spray stand...I was feeling good that I had just increased the weight on the ab machine from 10 to 15 pounds. For me, that's huge. That's a big, honkin' accomplishment for me. But then, I met super cut, super sweaty, super woman and my 15 pound ab machine increase seemed silly.

The negative voice kicked in "see what's the point? you'll never get there, you can barely do 15 pounds on an ab machine. just go home now, eat some candy, this is pointless".

Yup, its THAT negative. Its that bad. But I believe we all have our own versions of what they called in theater class "your inner critic". The goal is to silence that little bugger. To shut him or her up so that you can go about progressing through your life - whatever the task set before you, the goal is to stop believing the inner critic that tells you..."eat those 10 pieces of candy, eat that bowl of ice cream" or when the critic can't think of anything else "why are you depriving yourself? you can eat and do or NOT do whatever you want!"...that's the REALLY desperate inner critic voice...that's the one i finally learned how to zip its lip. I've realized by being healthy i'm not depriving myself, i'm giving myself a gift.

But that particular inner critic voice today? The one that told me "what's the point?"...that was a strong voice. But not strong enough...instead of quitting and leaving my workout partner at the gym early (shout out to Kristen!)...I stuck it out. I kept going. And will keep going.

So what? I thought. So what if I'm not that sweaty, cut woman...her goals may be different than mine, she's at a different point in her development and her journey. We all have our own story...some close friends of mine have been moved and inspired by my story, and I in turn have been inspired by others.

Its just how it works.

Now, just to clarify on this whole "voice thing"...I'm not literally hearing voices, it just your own inner negative self trying to tell you "you can't"...when in fact "you CAN". And its when you finally say "i will" and you DO...that's when the breakthrough starts.

In the end, I guess its really just about believing you deserve to treat yourself well. No matter what, you are WORTH the effort.

So that's my very honest, open blog entry for today...but i think its good to share that no matter how far along you may seem on a journey, we are all just human and everyday is a challenge. Some days you will meet them head on, face to face and never blink...other days, it will be harder. 

Today was harder...but I overcame and put in a damn good workout for myself. And for that, i'm grateful and damn proud.

And so should you, be proud of every minute of success you have. Because this sh*t isn't easy...plain and simple but it is SO worth it. And I don't ever want to turn back...