Sharing the Journey - 2015

January 2015 and I'm here in the midst of a blizzard, saddled by a storm that is currently dumping what is (allegedly) going to be, when all is said and done, a total of almost 2 feet of snow. Yup!

So how else does that bring me to you? Especially when I have not updated this particular blog in probably a million, gazillion years? Well first let's recap...

I tried to move away from the "Body Made Better" name in the Fall of 2014. I fell in love with the name Heart, Mind & Muscle because it seemed and seems a more accurate reflection of how my own personal journey, my health journey, had transformed. But for whatever reason, it just wasn't sticking, and oddly enough Body Made Better started to gather some sort of additional following that I can't for the life of me figure out where it is coming from. But I won't look gift horses in the mouth...but it has left me with a conflict of how to merge BMB with HMM. And that's something for my brain to quietly sort out off this page...so what belongs on this page?

My journey since the last time I chimed in here.

And what does that journey look like? Well, it looks a lot like my love of strength training. How it impacts and influences not just your physical strength but your mental strength. How there are so many misconceptions for women about getting too big, too bulky, looking too "manly", that it "is too hard" on the

female body...you name it, the misconception lives. But part of my passion is to help put an end to those misconceptions. Firstly, by living the life of a woman that strength trained 4 days a week. And for a solid three months Sept 2014 to November of 2014...i was kicking ASS. I had just moved through a "rough" patch of health and finally was making progress. I mean I had visual muscle, I felt strong, confident, sexy, HAPPY. 44 years old and I was rocking dresses I couldn't rock at age 34. On top of all this, I have a dear friend Holly Perkins that is launching this incredible mission Women's Strength Nation, a national campaign, (paired with the launching of her first book!), which I'm thrilled to be a part of. I had also just registered for my online Health Coaching Certifcation through the nationally accredited Spencer Institute.

EVERYTHING was feeling fantastic.

And then I got sick. Again.

Here comes the struggle part of my journey. Because ya know, I'm human. Like you. Like all of us.

Most of us have something that derails us. Some sort of either mental or physical block that when we gather momentum in an area of life that falls in tune with everything in our being...a big giant wall goes up and says "thou shall not pass".

Well, for me atleast that is how it works.

And for me, this happened. Again. This always happens. And every time I think I have broken through the barrier I hit it again and again. I had some personal life struggles over the late summer which I referred to in my previous blog entry that seriously threw me for a loop and I managed somehow to keep my health in tact and push through it all although my nervous system had taken a beating. I pulled it all together, came out the other side whole again, re-evaluated what may have gone off course and all was well again.

Except mentally some part of me had fallen ill, taken the hit and my "physical" wellness hadn't bared the brunt YET. Oh no...it waited. It waited until all felt WONDERFUL and on track and SO good in ALL areas of my life again.

Then...WHAM!

Thou Shall Not Pass.

First weekend of December I was hit by what I thought was some sort of sinus infection from hell. I do have
the world's worst sinus problems but usually a good strong dose of antibiotics and it clears my system in 10-15 days. But no...this was doing other strange things. Two doses of different meds and NOTHING. Odd pins and needle sensations in my face, pains in my neck and shoulders, low to no energy for almost a month and half, barely an appetite paired with days I couldn't eat enough, teeth pain then no pain. Of course this resulted in no WORKING OUT for weeks at a time and all during the Christmas season. It felt devastating. Depression was hitting me hard. I watched all my physical progress disintegrate right before my eyes. Muscle tone evaporated. I kept waking up every morning thinking, "today i'll feel better" but i didn't. On top of this, I had a primary physician that was no responsive and said "just keep rinsing with saline".

Um, no...something isn't right? Or atleast doesn't feel right.

So almost a full two months later (a couple weeks ago) I realized you have to take charge of your health. I saw different primary who ran a battery of tests and suggest I see my neurologist ASAP (because i do have neurological migraine condition). He got me in right away and verified for me that none of what I was experiencing seemed to be neurological.

Thank you GOD.

A huge weight off my chest.

Next up, lots of bloodwork, a possible brain MRI just to double check and the most important appointment on the horizon is with a new ENT in a week. Because oddly enough, this really does all seem to be pointing to some bad sinuses. I even went to the dentist who verified my troublesome impacted wisdom teeth (yeah, yeah they should come out) are NOT hitting any facial nerves.

And you know what happened as I started to go to all these doctors that re-assured me nothing looked to be major????

I've been feeling BETTER.

Do I have legitimate sinus problems? HELL yes. And I need to get my ass to that appointment, and I need to go to ALL my follow-ups. But my mental is STRONGLY connected to my physical. THAT is my struggle. It always has been, since I can remember, I've always had this strong mental/physical delayed reaction with sickness. I've managed to slowly ease myself back into the gym atleast twice a week and have implemented something new...

YOGA.

What????

If anyone knows me...I've put up a strong fight against yoga. Simply because silence, slow movement, the sound of breathing...makes me uncomfortable. But as I hit age 45 last month, I realized...the mental block that connects to my physical sickness can be cleared...and it is through things like meditation and yoga. I've begun to read up on Buddhism and learning to let go of obsessing over the past and worrying for the future but embracing the NOW. I'm far from perfect in any of this. And it is all still very uncomfortable for me. But sometimes THAT is what they mean when those catchy slogans and images on Pinterest say "The magic happens outside your comfort zone". It doesn't always involve scaling a mountain or running a marathon.

Sometimes it is finding the courage to listening to the silence inside of you and hearing what needs to be said.

The time has come to listen because there is a reason "thou shall not pass" keeps blocking my path. I want to help people cross their own bridges, find their own way, gather both physical and mental strength, live a healthy and whole life and I can't do that if i'm not working to live my best "whole" life too.

So this is my journey, this is what it has looked liked and continues to look like. It is my struggle. I love being active - running, lifting, walking trailing, biking (well sort of, working on that!) and i love eating fresh, clean foods (but i still have sugar problem!)...but it is time to marry the physical with the mental. The mental needs to be active too...challenged and stretched and forced to grow in places it didn't think it could.

It is all new to me, but I'm ready to go.

I promise to keep this blog up...it is how so many of you first started to connect to your own journeys and i'm sorry i let myself slip away. Being a "personal trainer" was not the route for me, it derailed me ironically.

But being a health coach is...getting that certification is my 2015 goal...and i'm going to make it happen. Maintaining this blog and sharing who I am and the struggles I face are part of that coaching.

Once last thing I MUST share is this INCREDIBLE "This Girl Can" video that a very good friend of mine shared with me yesterday. Click the image "I jiggle therefore I am" to view it.

CLICK FOR VIDEO

It is an absolutely inspiring video out of the UK that reminds us, as young girls and women, that working at a healthy, active, strong, better, faster self doesn't mean looking like the women in the pages of a fitness magazine or the six pack twenty somethings that you have scrolling through your Instagram account. THIS is what healthy looks like TOO. This is what the struggle, the pain, the joy and the celebration looks like of living a better, healthier, happier life and pushing outside your own comfort zone.


I ask you to please check this video out if you do nothing else today.
Remember, you are not alone in your journey.

working on better,
Rachel