I am 4 days out from my first half marathon and the nerves are finally arriving right on schedule. It is hard to believe that I am actually going to do this thing with close to no training plan to sustain my confidence. The only thing truly fueling me is this honest to God belief I can do it. It is hard to explain but I believe if I really pace myself and not push, I will cross that half marathon finish line with a majority of running behind me. I can actually envision myself crossing the finish line and dissolving into tears. I KNOW, in my soul, I can and will do this. There is some sort of mind over matter thing happening and I am grateful and blessed to have that going for me right now.
But I still seem to be stuck on one little point...
I would like to not be so fixated on the "walking" part. I mean, so what? Lots of people, especially those that didn't train properly (ehemmmm, ME) will be walking parts of this course. And I don't think any less of those folks, it is awesome that they will be rockin' this goal. But it turns out I am being much harder on myself than I would be on anyone else. And if I just let myself go...let myself just enjoy every minute of those 13.1 miles I really don't care what the run to walk ratio is. In fact, I had "the man" say to me the other day..."even if you walk alot of it...it is 13 MILES...that is going to be HARD even as a walker".
And I won't lie, that freaked me out a little but at the same time...I felt like it was challenge. One that for some reason I feel ready for. In fact I feel more ready to run this thing than I do having to figure out how to find my way from the parking garage to the start line downtown!
I KNOW I can do this. I feel it in my bones. And how amazing that a year ago during this time I was training to run my first 5k. And it was the same exact scenario...I was training to run 3 miles, but got injured. I decided to still do the 5k but told everyone I will most likely have to walk a majority of it. Same thing I am saying and experiencing preparing for my first half marathon. Maybe i'll surprise myself and run the whole thing, who knows. Anything is possible..I've learned that through running.
Lastly, I want to say a huge and sincere thank you to TheRaceyRedhead for making plans to greet me at the finish line. With my man away, it is wonderful to know I won't be celebrating this huge accomplishment alone. I have learned in life it is the ones you least expect to step up, that actually do. They are usually the ones that are of course good people and kind of heart, but you may not consider in your "inner circle", and yet they step up, they make the effort, they "get it". So I would like to just say a sincere and public thank you to Cyn for being there when the few I thought would be, won't be.
I plan on doing a short run after work - 2-3 miles just to keep those muscles moving. I have been able to go strong with 5 mile runs by letting 4-5 days go in between (i'm in the gym some of those days though getting STRONGER) so I don't want to depart from that approach. It has worked so far, so no need to switch it up.
I'm so excited/freaked out/anxious/proud/ready for Sunday!!!
stay strong,
Rachel
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